No sense getting all caught up in the hows and whys with this list. I’ve already been through Steps Four, Five, Six and Seven, so I’m fully aware of my defects of character and various shortcomings. My personal inventory has made it abundantly clear that regardless of the situation, I harmed far more than I helped. Hell, I never even had the good sense to keep quiet.
Step Eight: made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Who’d I hurt the most? Easy – simply ranking the people in my life in order of importance gave me that bloated pie chart of shame. But that’s not shocking – of course we hurt those closest to us the most: they’re the people we spend the most time with, and have the most history with, good and bad.
They are the ones most affected by my alcoholism, because they were all-too-often subconsciously blamed for my alcoholism and seen as barriers to my drinking and isolation. These were the people just on the other side of the walls I put up.
For this step to work, I need to become willinging to acknowledge the silo I’ve constructed, explain why I built it, and promise to dismantle the whole thing through my daily actions.