There are two separate admissions in Step One. Two Truths. One comes before the dash, one after. And they can be realized in either order.
Step 1: we admitted we were powerless over alcohol – that our lives had become unmanageable.
Try it: print it, clip it and flip it around and see that it still applies: we admitted that our lives had become unmanageable – we were powerless over alcohol. For me, my brain was super messed-up and my life was already unmanageable long before I took my first drink.
Within seconds of taking that drink, however, I believed I had found the secret to living. Within the year I would be shown on multiple occasions that I was powerless over alcohol. It was the answer that became the problem, precisely because I was convinced it was the answer.
And it’s the same song either way: Pretend we flipped the order of my discoveries. That is to say: life was going 100% according to plan, until that first drink triggered an addiction that left me powerless over alcohol, making my life unmanageable. Either way, I still would have thought I’d found the secret to living. Within short order my ideal life would begin eroding. I was digging a hole for me to live in.
Maybe it’s all schematics. Getting all entangled in the old, pointless debates: the chicken and the egg, your-chocolate-my-peanut-butter-type stuff. Some come into this program by the front door, others through the kitchen window.
As long as there’s a table and someone’s at it, the rest is dressing.
For me, as long as I am sober, I have a chance at managing my life. Occasionally I don’t do so well. Many times I get by on good fortune. Sometimes I surprise myself with a good decision or choice. But if I am not sober, there is no chance at all. Good fortune goes away and most of my decisions and choices are bad. So practically speaking, onward to step 2.
Step One is like a “never forget” flag: I need to run it up the pole each morning, and gratefully lower it each night.