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Let’s not get all caught up in the schematics of this step, shall we?  We’ve all heard the analogy:  three frogs on a log.  Two make a decision to jump.  How many frogs are left on the log?  Three – because a decision doesn’t equal an action.  A clever little mind-twist designed to prove a point.

So when and how am I supposed to jump off the log, exactly?

Step 3: made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

Where’s the call to action?  Shouldn’t I be turning in my badge and gun at this point?  Maybe handing over my keys?  Or perhaps I need to be leaping into Jesus’ waiting arms as we walk along the beach.  Something concrete, solid, that I can point to as confirmation.  I feel like something needs to be notarized.

I mean, this has always been the step I agreed with the most, in theory.  It’s definitely the one that has the ability to take away the most pain.  Let God do it – sounds like a wise move.

Today, I understand that it’s not a one-and-done-type-deal, that it demands a daily renewing at the minimum, a first-thing-in-the-morning letting go and turning over.  There may even be the need to sometimes let it run continuously, like a dehumidifier.  Every couple of conscious seconds it may be required to mentally pull the car over and stretch my spiritual legs.  Just get out and walk for a bit.  Do I even know which way I was going?  Was there a specific destination I had in mind, or was I once again all caught up in the gas stomping and brake slamming?

Well, that’s the problem in a nutshell.  I shouldn’t have been driving in the first place.

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One thought on “who’s is charge here?

  1. “Today, I understand that it’s not a one-and-done-type-deal, that it demands a daily renewing at the minimum, a first-thing-in-the-morning letting go and turning over.”

    I love the acceptance part in the above statement – I am just now out of desperation listening to my sponsor about continuous connecting to a higher power after years of being a dry drunk. After not drinking and going to meetings , but still living in a cesspool of fear, anxiety and depression, I realized I could live on using my way anymore.

    For me , i need to do it continuously throughout the day.
    What helps me is that the people who I admire the most in Meetings, every single one does the above in some shape or manner

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