How do I make amends to those whose backs I’ve talked behind?  The list of people I have harmed is long enough to begin with, and if I’m to include all the times I hurt someone with secretive malice, I might never finish writing.

Step 9: made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Gossip.  It’s so bad that often the admission is a worse betrayal than what was actually said.  It’s basically admitting, “Hey, I know you thought I was on your side, and most of the time I am, but the other day I felt like knocking you down to size a bit, just so I could feel better about myself.  You know, superior.  Now I’m all about cleaning up my side of the street, so there you go.  No hard feelings, right?  Boy, do I feel better.”

For quite a while I assumed that attempting to amend my gossiping was a sunk cost.  What’s done is done, and dragging my harsh words out into the light isn’t anything more than my ego in reverse.  Here’s another chance to take a swipe at and justify my condemnations.

So, here’s what I’ve figured out, and I have no idea if it works or is even appropriate:  I don’t apologize to the person whom the venom I spewed was about.  I go back and apologize to the person I told the gossip to.  It’s basically admitting the same as above, but without all the self-righteous anger.

Today:  I’ve hurt people without their knowledge.  Try to make it right without their knowledge.

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