Well, for starters, I switched to decaf. It’s the first morning at the water park, and the family is already out and splashing. I’m up in our room, reading and re-reading a “Just for Today” pamphlet in order to get myself right-sized before attempting to vacation.
Rumination: Is it possible to transform “just getting through” into “enjoying the day”?
Wakey, wakey – my wife made eggs and bakey, and they were delicious. The weather’s gorgeous, and our daughter is having a wonderful day. So I’m sure by now it’s apparent why I’m having such a difficult time.
Actually, this morning when I went outside for a little alone-time walk, it hit me what the true problem is. This whole vacation, this entire trip, the packing and unpacking and everything else that goes with it, is not, will not, and can not live up to the unspoken expectations that I’ve brought along with me. Giving people invisible deadlines that end up as incompletes only serves to feed my resentment that I’m not getting what I want. See, I know I need to be given what I want, and not demand it. However, once a point is reached where I know that what I want will never be given to me, I need to kick a defense mechanism into high gear. I’ll simply stop wanting the whatever I thought I wanted, grow resentful and diametrically opposed to it in all its fashions.
The lesson? Quit wanting and demanding and complaining when nothing happens. A day at a time; God’s time, right? Whatever happens, happens. No need to tether my serenity to it.