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There’s a whole science to proper praying. No wonder I was never happy with the results. I was willy-nillying it. Half-assing. A passing nod to the higher power as I did other things: a ramble off.

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Make one thing clear: I often used God like Santa Claus. Prayers were nothing more than listings of complaints and grievances as to how things were going thus far. Not so much “I want” as “why me?” Questioning the kingdom and all the promises because things weren’t working out the way I thought they should, in my calendar. When I turn off the egg-timer, the prayers at least have a chance.

So, here’s my don’ts and do’s:
1. Don’t pray that people like me. Pray that I present myself right-sized and whatever happens, happens.

2. Don’t pray for a better job. Pray that I have the will to apply and send out resumes, and pray that I recognize my worth in the interviews. Whether or not they hire me, if I’ve given it my best effort, needs to fall by the wayside.

3. Don’t pray for nouns.

As long as I keep making attempts and taking shots, eventually something will land. That goes for every aspect of my life. Giving up on something is just alcoholism downtime that I waste pouting and demoralizing and lashing out at those around me. I look outside for reassurance and comfort, and  berate others into consoling me about the importance of me. My alcoholism thinks it’s cool despot.

Today I pray for no results; just positive actions.

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