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Today I pray. I pray that I remain right-sized. I pray that my job doesn’t get me all twisted. I pray for appropriate reactions.

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

I’m not expecting answers; I’m expecting help. And not the “Please Lord, smite all of my enemies”-type help.

I’d pray for an uneventful day, but that’s the wrong place to be putting my prayers. It’s not about asking for things not to happen. It’s about being able to handle them without all the drama.

I pray that my first reaction isn’t the one I go with. I am tired of grumbling and complaining about a deadline, only to find that the job has been canceled, or I get everything done well before the end of the day. This often leaves me with an hour or two of downtime, questioning why I needed to throw a fit.

More than everything else, I pray that I remember I’m an alcoholic. No drinking doesn’t equal no problem. True, I’m not being pulled against my will into convenience stores anymore, however, my initials thoughts and feelings are still alcoholic in nature: all gloom and doom. My disease wants to strike down any and all positive thoughts I might have. The longer my bad mind lingers, the lower my resolve.

For today: Pray like I mean it.

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