Okay.  I’ve already drilled through the substrate to discover what’s keeping me from being happy, joyous and free.  It’s fear.  Fear of failure.  Fear of embarrassment.  Fear of not measuring up.  Of course, I don’t go through the day cowering in the corner; I transform that fear into that good ol’ American standby, anger.

Step 7:  humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

This is where acceptance comes in. Accepting the fear, acknowledging it, and naming it out loud, drags it from the shadows into the light, where it becomes much more identifiable, as well as size-appropriate.  Almost all are internal fears that I’d wait for others to fix, and when they didn’t, more resentments.

Before the program, that was as far as I could evolve my thought process regarding fears.  Night terrors and afternoon panic attacks were simply things I needed to ride out.

This all reminds me of the first time I got a Charley horse in the middle of the night.  I’m 12 or 13, and my calf muscle seizes up, waking me to agony and helplessness.  I laid in bed for at least a half hour, rubbing my leg and freaking out.  That morning I was told that next time, I should immediately jump out of bed and walk it off.  Which seemed incredibly counter-intuitive.  Even as my feet hit the floor five nights later I was still having doubts, right up until the muscles stretched and relaxed, and the pain dissipated.  Did I understand it?  No.  Do I need to?  No.

It works if you work it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s