I’d be getting a lot more leeway.  I mean, c’mon.  Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen. Except for maybe the guy that wrote that song.

Step Six: were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Rationalizations, justifications, and excuses. These are the tools I use to get what I want, or do what I want, or think what I want. Whereas I see normals as people who go through life taking what they want, doing what they want, and thinking the same, secretly agreed-upon thoughts.  God put things on this earth for them to take and have and use and throw away.  And God put them on this earth to keep me miserable.

Because I don’t really want to be a normal. I’m better than that – I’m a highly-functioning alcoholic, right?  And just for the sake of getting through this life, I’ve been attempting to become an approximation of what a normal might look like to another normal.

Who am I, the man who fell to Earth? That’s a pretty high level of special I’m floating in; needing to tone down my awesomeness so the bystanders don’t go blind.

So why do I do it? Well, because if I’m able to make myself special enough, then I’m unique enough, and different enough from everyone else, so that you can’t really know or understand me, and gimme a drink.

Today: Make eye contact with others, solid in the knowledge that neither one of you are an alien.

2 thoughts on “if you knew me like I knew me…

  1. Maybe one of us is an alien … doesn’t really matter. (I am fairly certain that Condaleeza Rice is actually Martin the Martian,) Step 6 is the realization after Steps 4 and 5, that it is our own character defects that cause us problems, not the character defects of others. Having said that, I had to go through a lot of Step 10 moments before I figured that out.

  2. I recently wrote about how I saw myself as an alien put on this earth to take notes and return to the mother planet…ha ha. So when I get back into that “unhuman” state, I get back into my old alkie ways of thinking. Not cool for this guy, because I drop quickly. No going past Go and collecting $200. Go straight to the mental park bench and fester there.

    Step 6 – yeah, am I entirely ready? Sure! Oh wait, maybe…well, i do like this char defect, and I get a kick out of that still and I…ok, let me rethink this. Or not. Let the HP take care of that stuff, just be willing is all. I can do that small thing, can I?

    Great stuff.


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