That’s really when everyone wins, isn’t it, when I take it down a few notches?  At night, the 10th Step Checklist, eyes closed, in bed, mentally going over the day and how I approached it going in, and responded to its many, many parts throughout.

Inevitably, the days I enjoyed most were the days I thought least.

I’m going to attempt a Month of Acceptance:  According to page 449 in the old text, “acceptance is the answer to all my problems today…  Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy.”

And so my alcoholism worries, what, so you’re going to go through life like some pushover moron now? A punch-drunk idiot?  A patsy?  Sure, life’s easy when you rollover for everything, like some coonhound waiting to get her belly scratched!

See, that’s what I immediately jump to:  Complete acceptance only comes with complete stupidity.  Therefore, in order to achieve complete serenity, I must become a lobotomized nabob.  What science fiction is this!

It’s self-indulgent nonsense that muddies the waters.  Of course I’m going to continue to think:  I just imagined needing surgery to be happy in some dystopian future where I’m an outlaw, living on the fringes.

What I truly must remind myself until it becomes rote:   It’s totally fine to think.  I just don’t need to overthink; feel free to let go of the going over and over.  There’s no need to dwell.  Simply cleaning out that extra space in my brain and who knows? Maybe I could spend some of that time thinking outwards?

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