Due to company restructuring, your position was eliminated.  Makes it sound like the building itself lurched up on its haunches to stretch, and upon resettling inadvertently crushed the floor I was working on.

Rumination: Serenity Prayer, don’t fail me now!

I’m not going to copy and paste it here: we all know it.  And having your job vanish through no fault of your own plants this one firmly in the “cannot change” camp.  There was a standing ovation of hugs and tears among my coworkers; I was one of seven let go yesterday, and I got to be a part of the good-byes this time, as opposed to being escorted directly from the Human Resources office to my car.  This time, there were no resentments or even regrets.  And for once, no burned bridges; instead, bonds forged.  It took me a solid six months to let go of the resentments I had against my last place of employment.

Guess what’s different?  Certainly, not me: my mind raced around the entire business complex looking for something definitive to point at; someone with an axe to grind who was now getting revenge.  Problem was, I couldn’t find anyone or anything.  I miraculously got along with almost everyone at work, which never, never happened in the past.

So, what happened, between then and now?  Well, a lot of listening to what others had to say regarding getting through difficult times without the need to drink is what happened.  It’s because of the steps and the program that I’m learning that clinging to my wants and demands, wishes and ideals, is what makes it so hard to breathe.  I’m remembering that people exist in the here and now and not in my time, with my reality.  They don’t switch on and off when I enter and leave a room.  Conversely, I’m also believing now that nobody’s out to get me; that there is no secret society plotting against my every move anymore.

It’s okay to have emotions and feelings; even ones that I know are unjustified or flat-out crazy.  That’s fairly common.  It’s the turning over and letting go and letting God that’s new.

3 thoughts on “apparently, I can handle this.

  1. You are indeed handling this well. I am sorry to hear that you lost the current job but hopeful and optimistic that a better opportunity will come your way. Your ending comments are right on. It would be very “normal” , expected even, to have some hurt or anger, but to be able to let it go is a gift.

  2. I am so sorry to hear this. Sometimes I wonder about that saying; You are right where you are supposed to be. If there is truth in that, then I guess you are where you are supposed to be.
    Stay strong, I am sure you HP has something else in store for you.

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