I mean really, how isolated can you get? It’s a serious question for me, because I believe I’d love to have total isolation. A deserted island with a monthly rations drop from a drone plane. All the time in the world to walk and ponder and philosophize without any pushback, explanations, or truth. All of my warped assumptions become pillars. All of my justifications are rationalized with the absolute sweet truth of my convictions, and vice-verse. Without my insanity ever being called into question, how long before I’m a brain-broke drooler squatting in the sand or dead, another victim of his own over-indulgent self-importance?
Step 11: sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
That’s why here on planet Earth, all of my drinking had to be alone: much less arguing. Moving through ordinary time in a constant state of altered reality is nothing more than self-alienation. And once I believed I was a social misfit and outcast, it was all over but the drinking.
Hit the fast forward button. Go grab a bag of chips, pour a glass of grape soda for yourself, with ice, take a seat, find the remote and press ‘stop’.
What it’s like now: Now I know it’s all about control and for me, isolation is the ultimate form of control. So when I’m being King Baby on top of Cloud Mountain, today, gratefully, I remember that in order to have serenity, there needs to be a letting go, a turning over, a handing off to a higher power, greater than myself, whose always present when I’m conscious of his contact.
It’s the daily awareness that my higher power is there that keeps me humble and grateful. I believe the path to my inner peace just became of loop.