If only I could be as preemptive with my own thoughts and feelings as I am with my external human interactions.  But that would require discipline and willingness, and let’s be honest, it’s much easier prepping for imaginary conflicts that most likely will never materialize.  You know the drill:  “Here’s exactly what I’m going to say to so-and-so when… tomorrow in the break room, when he or she mentions this or that, I’m gonna let ‘em have it.”

Step 11: sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

It’s not a lot of work, and it’s much easier looking into the faults and weaknesses of others: figuring out what their shortcomings are, and how I would correct them.  Because, of course, I’ve got all of my shit totally straightened out.  I can’t believe these people aren’t knocking down my door, just to receive my super-valuable tips and tricks on how to live a superior life.  I mean, isn’t that the vibe I’m throwing out there?  Isn’t my aura simply too overpowering for you to deny?

Here’s the question:  Am I using the program for good or evil?  Am I turning my baby steps of progress into reasons to flaunt?  Hey everyone!  I’m growing!  What are you doing with your life?  This is me and my disease, completely discounting the notion that others may not have been messed up in the head to begin with.  Maybe they took care of their business years ago, or never led a life that required mass apologies.  Huh.

How can I be totally self-absorbed, except when it comes to self-evaluation?  Cunning, baffling, powerful.

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