Tomorrow will be the last of the daily ruminations.  I’ll be moving the posts to MWFs.  So, I’ll be ruminating three times a week as opposed to every day, with additional postings as the mood strikes.  You’ll notice the site’s new tag line, “ruminations on the twelve steps.”  I had to drop the daily.

Step 3: made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

Two reasons for the easing of the schedule.  First, I was simply running out of things to say and ways to say them.  There were a couple of occasions where I felt like I was phoning it in, and when that starts happening it’s time to pull back and reassess the assignment.  I don’t want to begin resenting something that’s been such a positive in my life.  Plus, I’m hoping the subject matter and quality of writing goes up a tic.

Second, and most importantly:  I could feel the swelling that comes with pride, arrogance, self-reliance and ego.  That all-too-familiar persuasion that I’m above it now.  It’s the same feeling I get if I chair a meeting for too long: that sense of superiority, that belief that my alcholism has been abated, and I’m smart enough not to say I’m cured, but you get the idea.  Like I’ve learned the secret, when in reality it’s the same whistling-past-the-graveyard nonsense I’ve been employing as a masking agent for years.

As a bonus, I get to deal with change.  Breaking a routine is never something I’m super-comfortable with, especially when it’s super-comfortable.  What I’m hoping happens is that I replace some of these writing days with meditation; I’m going to give that an honest shot for once, and not confuse awareness with action.

I’ll keep you posted.  Thanks.

2 thoughts on “format change.

  1. Change is good. Growth is good. Whatever you decide it will be most likely fine, and if not, you can change it again. Other ideas could include, or come from, other readings, maybe the 12 traditions, or sections from the Big Book. You write well and what helps you will likely help someone else. Thank you.

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