Okay, so it’s 5:45 this morning on the third and final day of insane worked deadline. I’ve got until 11 o’clock. I’m taking this moment to brew coffee and stand outside in the chill to remind myself to keep it together for just one more day.
Step 3: made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.
Hello, it’s me again. It’s now 6:45 in the evening, and the opening paragraph was all I was able to get down before the crazy began. More changes and last-minute stuff that either gets done or you’ll just have to do without, sorry, that’s how it goes. Time passes and the deadline is met and it’s been all quiet since, fingers crossed, knocking wood. Changes could still be coming, but at this point I can’t imagine they’d be large ones.
And the best part is I didn’t make an ass of myself. So many times in the past, I would burn up any goodwill earned staying late or putting in extra effort through my hostile attitude and condescending demeanor.
You know the saying, doesn’t play well with others? For me, that’s not a brag, or some stupid-ass bumper sticker slapped to the back of a Pontiac Grand Prix. It’s a legitimate shortcoming. I honestly and truly don’t understand how people interact. I mean, I get it on a technical level. I’m not a sociopath. I feel love and am capable of giving it. It’s the subtler things that this alcoholic still misses the marks on: sometimes awkwardly, sometimes terribly. It’s times like these that the program reminds me I’m still a toddler when it comes to emotions.
But not today. Today I capped off three days of 30+ hours of work, and never once yelled or complained or did anything that would cause others to slowly back away. That’s a big win.
Today: acknowledge the victory, And remember there’s another game tomorrow.