Good habits must replace bad habits. When I stopped drinking, I had time coming out of my ears. I was working on creating a new habit, one of not doing. Thankfully, some of that time was filled with meetings and working with my sponsor. Good habits.
Step 12: having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
There’s a difference between being unproductive and being incapacitated. Wasting time in and of itself isn’t a horrible thing. Physically and mentally not being able to perform in any meaningful way is where the true tragedy lies. For years, I’d been benching myself. Now that I’m in the game, I find that I’ve forgotten most of the rules, and I’m not very familiar with the playbook, either. It would also help if I knew the sport.
One of the habits I’ve been working on is Letting Go. Easily the biggest sticking point in my sobriety and my sanity has been clinging. To old ideas, outdated feelings, and overreactions. The amount of unproductive time I will spend inside my own head, trying to rewrite reality, depends entirely on how long I want to grip something.
So I’ve got some work to do, so what? Like I said, I’ve got plenty of meaningful time. For that I’m grateful.