This step is so big, so all-powerful, that the overall idea of it can come off as a little showy.  It’s a magical elixir.  Cures what ails you.  Which is great, because as I’ve recently learned, I’m currently dealing with a twenty-year bout of the crazies.

Step 2:  came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

It doesn’t tell me that it’ll stop my drinking.  It says it’ll restore my sanity.  This goes way beyond cravings and addictions.  Pick an insanity, any insanity:  this step oozes into every nook and cranny of my loosely wired brain like warm Jell-O.  If I allow it to set, I get something like serenity.  If I immediately dismiss it out of hand, it runs down the back of my throat.

The way I’m reading this step?  My alcoholism is a subset of my insanity.  As a lifelong disease, restoring me to sanity won’t cure me, only lessen the chaffing.  And it also doesn’t say that my sanity will be restored as a result of not drinking.  It’s as if sobriety is a by-product.

Chew on this: The miracle of the program’s a side effect?  Makes perfect sense to me, since everything I’ve learned in the program runs counter-intuitive to my natural reactions.

One thought on “overarching, much?

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