Home

It’s 10:30 in the morning on a Friday, and I’ve got a significant amount of work to do today before cutting out for the weekend.  And I’m ready to get the work done: I’m energized, charged, jazzed.

Problem is, I can’t start on anything.  First comes meetings; meetings that aren’t scheduled for another hour or two.  Then, afterwards, I’ll be able to start cranking.  Except that I won’t feel like it anymore.  By then I’ll be filled with resentment for waiting.  My window was open and others chose to actively ignore it.  Now the day’s winding down, and it’s time to dump all their ASAP requests into my inbox.  Well, I’m not picking it up until Monday.

Step 2:  came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

But there’s no need to get upset.  No sense in flailing about, throwing things and swearing.  My bad behavior won’t resolve anything.  All it does is cause people to question my role within the company.  Am I bringing / providing all that was promised?

I’m angry because I’m afraid that, due to limited time, I won’t be able or willing to do my best work , and that I’ll be reprimanded, or my skills and abilities will be questioned by those who project coordinate.  I’m making excuses up in my head.  I’m having one-sided arguments with HR.  I’m defending myself from things that don’t, nor will ever, exist.  Assuming others are assuming the worst of me is a character defect that I’d love to drop: making myself pointlessly upset about things that aren’t occurring is the quickest way to get myself unbalanced and ready to attack.

Today:  Be thankful that I can turn it all over to the care of my God.  I understand that, while he won’t smite my perceived enemies nor do any of my actual work, he makes it possible for me to go through my day right-sized, and I get done what I can get done, and let go of the rest.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s