Ugh, talking about Step One is so boring. I mean, let’s get on to bigger and better things, already.
Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives have become unmanageable.
My admission of powerlessness became taken for granted pretty quickly. I saw it as a belief that needed to become a requirement in order to move forward; bedrock that needed to transform into an assumption in order for me to grow.
Trouble is, when that happens for too many days in a row, I start thinking I’ve been doing it myself all along, that my life has become manageable. So guess what idea naturally follows, and I use the word “naturally” loosely?
It’s the “if… then” scenario is reverse. I’m mentally attempting to back up the train. And while there’s no practical way to recreate the hellish misery and suicidal feelings of the days and weeks that surrounded the worst of it, or even the bad of it, going too long without checking my ego at the door just isn’t good for anyone.
Remember: The goal of the program isn’t to gain power over alcohol.
Remember: The goal of the program isn’t to make my life manageable.
Today: When trouble-shooting, always start with the power cord. Plug in or unplug as appropriate.