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Are the negatives in life more fun to dwell on than the positives?  No, they’re not.  Anyone could tell you that.  But there’s no point in dwelling on the positives: they’re already fixed.  It’s all the other crap that I really need to devote my attention to: mine, yours, everyone’s.

Another reason I prefer to concentrate on the negative is that becoming too concentrated on the positives would seem boastful, prideful, egoish.  Which is strange, considering I already come off as an arrogant prick.

Step Four: made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

When I stopped living in the real world and made my own universe, only the cool people were allowed.  I would tell the jerks and losers to get lost.  No goatees.  No Republicans.  No hyperbole.  No foreign cars.  No body modifications.  No trying too hard.  No being lazy.  No showing off.  No feigning ignorance.  It was an elaborate contraption that worked intermittently at best, susceptible to my whims and tangents, my up days and my tantrums. I was the bouncer to my own life. And depending on my mood, I would or would not pull back the velvet rope for you to enter.

But, as every teenage movie throughout time has shown us, popularity is a fickle hell-beast. Not being popular myself, I went with option number two: the cool loner. Until, over time and addiction, I lost the cool. Now I’m just a loner, which can get twisted pretty quick, given enough free time and floor space.

And yet the problem’s pretty fixable: limit my alone time.  Little breaks are perfect for me.  But long absences offer this loner plenty of time to wrong-size world-build, where I’m either too big or too small.  Coming back to society with that mind-set and someone’s getting hurt.  Plus myself.

Today: Reconnect with the what’s actually around me.  Be mindful.  And kind.  See where that leads.

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