No more, no less. If chores and scheduled time-outs are what’s required to keep things floating downstream, then there should be no hesitation in embracing what I am. That’s the real key – understanding the program isn’t going to fundamentally change my likes and dislikes, my tastes and preferences, my idiosyncrasies or metabolism. I’m hyper and anxious and need to keep myself occupied. That’s who I am. The conflict arises when I try to force an outcome I don’t really want. I’m the pyromaniac who thinks he can pull off a controlled burn.
Step 3: made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.
An object in motion tends to stay in motion. I need projects to fill my days. However, my diseased mind believes that the ultimate end goal is flip-flops and a giant hammock. So I spend my time attempting to achieve something that ultimately doesn’t fulfill me, because hanging out in a hammock is something I can only handle for about thirty minutes a week. Turns out I like the idea of relaxation more than I enjoy relaxing.
Today: Find the joy in the act itself, not as an obstacle in the way of my dissatisfaction. Living in the moment is all there is. Be grateful I’m finally learning that.