One of the things I am most grateful for is the fact that I was able to stick around long enough to see some of the promises come true. Not all of them, and not all the time, but they’re there and I’m noticing.

When I first started this program, everything seemed mystical. Phrases like, “it works when you work it”, sounded like a bunch of bumper-sticker hooey.  “Let go and let God” was another one that seemed pretty ethereal in nature. I had yet to understand that doing nothing was better than whatever it was I’d been doing.

When it came to running my life, I wasn’t helping.

And of course, alcohol exacerbated the issues. Because, intoxicants or no, I still have a mind that wants out. There was much to fix once I put the bottle down. Which was one of my biggest fears: I always knew that my problem was not strictly my drinking.  It was fear, envy, anger, hatred, pride, self-pity, and every other wrong-sized thought and belief that ever lived inside me. These were the things I was putting off with alcohol. So, of course it hurt in the beginning, and can still jump up and bite me in the ass every now and again.

Today, I’m grateful: that I can stand far enough away from myself to see pieces of the program working within me, ones I’m pretty sure weren’t there before. Progress noted, and thank you.

3 thoughts on “curvature of the earth.

  1. I know I don’t often comment here, but I have to say that I love your writing and your style. The pictures are often fantastic (and I like me some pictures in posts) and your topics are honest, real and to the point. I am really glad that I have crossed your path. Thank you for all of these fantastic posts. I look forward to them.


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