Visibility was down to about fifty yards this morning as I drove home from the local grocery store, packed with Sprite, chicken noodle soup, and sugar-free fruit pops. My little girl’s got a fever, home from school, and I’m working at the kitchen table, my ears and eyes and nose and throat all holding steady while undesirable elements stalk along the perimeters.

Today and for the rest of this month, I’m going to learn to like myself, or die trying. I’m going to concentrate on the positive things – not in my life, but in me. I need to learn, accept and know that me, alone, is enough.

This is quintessential uninteresting time: the supposed first half of my holy grail. The second half I’m still working on: being relaxed and comfortable during uninteresting time. When it comes to sitting still and enjoying it, I struggle mightily. Back to being comfortable in my own skin: I don’t have to remember I’m in it when dwelling on self-induced disasters.

So, most of the problems in my life are of my own creation; diversions that keep me from dealing with myself? Heavy.  The mere fact that I equate quiet time with searing self-reflection is bad news.

Today: Recognize the uninteresting for what it is: evidence of the program working.

All day: Be grateful.

2 thoughts on “wherever i go.

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