I believe I may have accidentally stumbled upon the biggest blind spot in my program. This part of the promises I never liked, believed in, or cared about. I also had no idea how to do it, or what it meant.

A Month of Promises (pages 83-84), sentence  7: We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

If by losing interest in selfish things you mean my drinking, then yes, that promise came true. I did lose interest in that, and yes, I’m eternally grateful for said miracle. But beyond that, my overall view of the world remains very much myopic. Years of isolation due to alcoholic necessity makes finding things outside of my head space rare and untouchable. I needed to discount everyone and everything in my life if I intended to continue down the path of zero growth and total inebriation. I had to lose interest in my fellows, because they were enjoying life. Hey, it was that or hate them.

Now that I’m in the program, and more importantly the fellowship, I can see how others’ experiences can benefit me (see sentence 5). For the first time in decades, I belong to a group larger than me. And we’re all working on the same project. We compare notes, go out into the real world, come back next week and share the results. I take joy when someone hits a milestone, comfort when it’s needed, and give hugs always. It’s called empathy, and I’m a big fan.

One thought on “as long as i’m in there somewhere.

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