Right along with making a decision, and deciding to act on it, comes another silent but deadly shortcoming: procrastination.
Step 4: made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
It’s 2:17 P.M. I’ll start doing something at 2:30 P.M. Mustn’t start any projects until the minute hand is divisible by 30. And if I miss it, look up and it’s five after, well, there’s always another half hour where that came from. Would hate to work on my sobriety and serenity before I really felt like I needed it.
What’s that if not taking back control? And who’s keeping track of my time? I’m not punching a card. I’m using mathematics and my O.C.D. to justify wasting 25 minutes.
It’s an old want, one that always keeps me on edge: the need to be done with something. Over. Finished.
But alcoholism can’t be solved; it can only be kept at bay. And not unlike Godzilla, the closer he gets to shore, the more damage I incur. In this scenario, my serenity is millions of screaming Japanese.
So, I pack sandbags. I call friends in to help. I remember that as long as I don’t over react, and actively seek advice, there’s a good chance Godzilla stays in the deep water. Not submerged; but where I can see him.
Remember: That just needs to hold out for today.