I should run my life on tape delay. Live in that seven-second time lapse that radio uses to edit itself. I think of all the minutes, hours, days, months, years filled with wasted energy, all because I refused to stop and breathe.

Step Seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings. 

Notice I didn’t say “stop and think”. For years I did that, assuming thinking was the answer. My inner monologue worked something like this:
“Hold on a second. Is your response going to be offensive and ego-driven?”
“Yes. But it’s also cutting and defensive.”
“Okay, as long as I’m aware, go ahead.”

I find that the less abstract I make this program, the more concrete the steps become. Asking Him to remove my shortcomings is about as abstract as you can get. And strict rules such as, “count to ten, then blurt” just don’t work. I need more.

I need an interruption. True mindfulness. Step Seven isn’t all conjecture and theory; something to be put away once I’m back in the real world. When interaction is imminent, reboot my mind and start blank. Whatever comes out of their mouth, do not push it through the “how does this affect me” filter. Immediately emphasize. See where they are coming from.

Also, check out how often I’m already in a predisposed mood before anyone speaks. I feel my eyes roll any number of times throughout the day. I just know the 11:00 meeting’s going to be a total waste of my time. Why do they even need me in there? Ugh, growl, mope.

But they are paying me to work within their confines, to achieve an agreed-upon goal. Quit worrying about their incompetence, arrogance and stupidity. Start focusing on my own.

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