What if I’m still the actor onstage, wanting only to control the entire performance and every aspect of the production? Doesn’t that mean I’m still scared of letting go and accepting that my role is big enough in this particular play? Haven’t I learned that I’m currently starring in about seven different shows all the time, depending on the venue? Sometimes I’m the hero; sometimes I’m an extra.
In both cases, I still get fed for the day, correct?
Step Seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Know this: I’m part of something bigger the second I’m not alone. Let’s suppose someone holds open the elevator door for me. Now, inside that metal box, I’m part of something bigger, right? So at work, it’s not MY work, it’s OUR work. Seeing my job as a series of deadlines that I need to be done with is egocentric in the extreme. Everyone and everything becomes a nuisance or a delay to my number-one goal: finishing what I need to do, independent of everything else. Fertile ground for anger and resentment.
So, in adherence to the Seventh Step Prayer, I will focus on being useful to my Higher Power and others. Outward focus is always, always, always going to be more productive and more healthy for this alcoholic. Sharing in combined efforts, regardless of the end result, always trumps petty isolation.
And for the record, I’m not going to treat every occasion like it’s a barn-raising. Let’s not go nuts. But, at the same time, I can leave my Captain Bring-down cape under my clothes.
For my sobriety and my sanity: get out of thyself.