When sobriety becomes boring, it means that my head has gotten so out of whack that I’m remembering my drinking days fondly. All the wonderful times spent in my parked car, staring off into the distance. All the time I got to spend perverting reality and nursing grudges.
Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Now my days consist of readings, prayers, meditations, calls to my sponsor and meetings. And these are the good days?
Things were so much easier when I was a lazy, active alcoholic. Now that the drinking is dormant, a daily maintenance sheet needs to be filled out and checked off. I’m no longer left to my own devices. Have I come along far enough in the program to start resenting it?
All of this stinks of my wanting to wrestle back control. Leave me alone; I can handle it now. And when things start to go off the rails, I’ll deny, deny, deny, until I’m ready to admit that my ego’s either ballooned to zeppelin proportions, or shrunk microscopically.
Remember: Sobriety may be boring, but life isn’t.