salute this.

Acknowledging my drinking was out of control to others. Something they already knew, or feared. And isn’t that what I’d been shooting for my entire adult life?

Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

The out of control bad boy: he doesn’t care about nuthin’, man. Isolated drinking fed rumors of a much cooler life; one that kept me from accepting invitations to mundane things such as after work get-togethers.

So, now with sobriety, how long can I attempt to maintain the rep? Isolation doesn’t make sense now. The second I put on my ‘too cool for school’ jacket (pick your own fabric), I’m cooked. My alcoholism loves turning my shortcomings into badges of honor. I’m a decorated veteran in the war I made.

For step eight, it’s essential that I strip myself of any and all rank. Humble myself back to what I was shooting for my entire child life: happiness.

My willingness to do make amends is: When the door swings open, any fear detected means I’m still clinging to ego. Tension comes from being outcome-driven. Peace is knowing that whatever happens, I’m already alright with it.