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I know there are things out there that are larger than me. I’m aware there are people out there that have more pull and sway than I do. But to believe there’s something on this planet greater than me? Not likely.

Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

So, it’s insane to think I’m the greatest? Hey, it worked for Ali. And if anyone disagreed, he just knocked them out. Wouldn’t that be nice? I could easily get through my day if those I interacted with were all rendered unconscious.

But that’s isolation taken to the extreme. Why should I hide in the basement with drink when I can simply go out and bulldoze everyone and everything that displeases me? Well, because belligerence is hardly the course of action in a conference room. Or grocery store. Or kitchen table.

When I was deep, deep down in my alcoholism, here were my choices: hide in a hole or blast away. Both giant overreactions engineered to draw hatred and sympathy in equal amounts. Look at me, look at me, look at me. Don’t look at me, don’t look at me, don’t look at me. That gets old quick.

For today: understand that nobody’s plotting against me. Going into everything with a defensive mind-set only lays my craziness out for all to see. And nothing’s worse than trying to explain my crazy.

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