Time to make another list of things I’ve done wrong throughout my life.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
One thing I’ve discovered is that it’s much easier to ask for forgiveness than to give it. Humbly asking someone for forgiveness for something I created was a piece of cake, when I compared it to letting go of a resentment. My thinking goes as follows: I’ve changed, so forgive me. You haven’t changed, so I won’t forgive you.
Whether they have changed or not should be none of my concern. It’s really not about them. It’s about me. After all, it was about me when I committed the wrongs, so it should be about me when I apologize for them.
And that’s part of the beauty of Step 8. I just have to write down the names. Be willing to at least put the name on paper. Luckily, (grace of God) nothing happened to me so horrifying that forgiveness was impossible. That’s gratitude I never thought of before this moment.
That’s the other beauty part of Step 8. I finally looked at things from the other person’s point of view. Once I truly and honestly saw my role and responsibilities, right-sized apologies became possible.