I had many, many amends to make. I never gave anyone any slack. It’s one thing to think bad thoughts of someone, it’s another to actually let them know it. Constantly judging other peoples’ actions whether I knew them or not was a hobby that I love to engage in.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
There’s a number of shortcomings I’m more than willing to let others know about. Their failures to: drive correctly, discipline children, make room, pick up garbage, and talk quietly are just a few annoyances that come to mind right off the top. Mainly, it’s society’s ability to individually move through this life completely oblivious to everyone else; head-down, shuffling and shambling, expecting everyone else to get out of my way. I assume they know how horrible they are being, and that it’s a choice – they choose to be assholes. Well, then, I choose to let them know acting in such a manner is inappropriate.
Through inappropriate manners. Walk-by mumblings with swears tossed in. Loud, sarcastic remarks, often involving “apologies” such as, “excuse me, my bad, just trying to walk down this shopping aisle, feel free to keep your cart and giant ass blocking the whole thing, I’ll turn around and go another way. Even though these aisles are wide enough for a car to drive down, you just keep fuckin’ around with your phone while your four illegitimate children yell and scream and run all over the place. Good for you, ma’am. Mid-twenties and already totally and completely fucked. Way to go, congratulations.” And so on and so forth.
Normally, people don’t engage me. They recognize a crazy person when they see one. But if they do, boy oh boy, it’s like lighting my Roman candle. Loud, angry accusations filled with hate. I’m flush with righteous indignation. All this from turning left down a shopping aisle.
Recognize: I can’t go find these people. Besides, they’re too many to count. The true collateral damage; the innocent bystanders that happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, can’t be undone. These are amends that need to be made through my new daily actions. At least stop the bleeding.