There are so many things I’m taking out of this program and applying to all my affairs. Or trying, to the best of my abilities.
Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
I find that promptly admitting when I was wrong clears up a lot of problems. One of the biggest gifts that this program has given me is the ability to apologize. How effective one simple act is at keeping me sane. And there’s a bonus to the side benefit. The act of apologizing humanized me, as well as the people I’m apologizing to. I’m learning how to connect through making an effort – one that isn’t fueled by personal gain.
One of my long-standing defects is that I’m forever on the lookout for something to become angry at. The more hopeless my ability to change it, the better. My alcoholism lives for situations I don’t like and can’t control. I stop using the serenity prayer, and instead work on ways to break the damn thing. And I can always break it, because I know I can always change things, with the drunkard’s courage to do so. I didn’t need to accept anything that I could change.
Of course, none of these changes were for the better. They were angry lashes at those who weren’t me and didn’t know how hard it is and so on and so forth.
It’s not that the invented situations of hopelessness causes me to run for a drink as a solution, so much as a reaction. Or a coping mechanism. If I can deem something untenable, there’s my out.
The moral? The further away I am from the program and the practice, the shorter the distance to untenable situations.