Wouldn’t it be nice to not have to think about being nice?
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
I’d really like to get this step ingrained in my core. Not to where it’s taken for granted (assumption is this alcoholic’s dream), but to where it just comes naturally and with right-sized judgement. It’s like all of a sudden being able to read people and feel empathy. I used to assume certain people just didn’t like me, and they could go screw. It’s not my job to make you like me.
No, it’s not. But neither is it my job to unload my diseased thoughts, feelings and actions onto you. My attitude of, “sorry you’re offended that I find you offensive,” was a put-off for most folks. And as God as my witness, I was genuinely surprised.
Now, I practice my interactions. I get several opportunities a day at work; each time someone enters my office. We’ll talk, discuss, and problem-solve, and they’ll leave feeling good, bad or indifferent. It’s actually a fascinating thing, watching someone I always bullied let their guard down around me. That’s unspoken trust being earned through doing the next right thing.
To my credit, I’m very good at promptly admitting when I was wrong in the work environment. Thankfully, they’re few and far between. But if it’s on me, okay then, my bad, I’ll fix it, etc., wrong righted, problem solved.
It’s the promptly admitting when I’m thinking wrong; the promptly admitting that I’m behaving poorly based on inappropriate thoughts, that trip me up.
Hey, it doesn’t come naturally yet. But at least now I’m aware that it could.
So, today: Be aware of my surroundings and mindful of my borders. Be consciously cordial.