Humility isn’t about lowering yourself. It’s also not about rising above. Finding that middle zone, I’m hoping, is where peace of mind resides.
I’m attempting a month of humility:
Humility simply requires a man to think of his abilities and his actions as no greater, and no lesser, than they really are. Real humility then mandates that a man knows and is completely honest with himself.
For my part, I’m trying to spend less time beating myself up or giving myself pats on the back. Kicking myself is a familiar ditch I can dig, and that’s digging for reassurances, validation, love. Boasting is another balloon I like to inflate, and that’s fishing for compliments, validation, love. And let’s not forget the fear of not getting this love I perceive I’m owed. Why isn’t everyone tuned in to me?
In both cases, I give up my power and place it on others. And when my back isn’t rubbed in sympathy, or my virtues are not extolled, I become resentful. And my resentees become miffed right back: what did they do or not do this time? And so goes the cycle.
Today: Staying right-sized means I don’t go fishing. If something is bothersome, I need to address it and get it over with and let it go. The “I’m Fine” syndrome only leads to a meltdown.