Now was the time for me to actually, physically do something. The first three steps all lived in the land of the mind: I admitted, I came to believe, I decided. I declared I was willing to do the work.
Well, grab your lunch box, kid. It’s Monday morning.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Paper and pen were needed for this step. I followed the written directions, followed others’ suggestions, and filled eight legal pages with resentments.
The dictionary often brings things into focus for me.
Resentment: bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
And, just for fun, I looked up indignation as well.
Indignation: anger or annoyance provoked by what is perceived as unfair treatment.
I lived on the corner of bitter and anger, seated in a folding chair, pointing out unfairness to anyone who’d listen. And when no one listened, I’d tell myself, ad infinitum.
Some of my resentments were justified. Some people were jerks. Some situations were untenable. Sometimes, I got 100% shafted. That easily made up 10% of my resentments. And you know the old saying, “Fool me 1/10th of the time, go to hell, asshole.”
And there was one other word I looked up.
Perceive: interpret or look on (someone or something) in a particular way.
Boy, could I be particular in how I interpreted.