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The greatest trick the 12 steps pulled on me was the bait-and-switch that comes with step two.

Step Two:
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Nowhere does this step say that it will keep me from drinking. It says “restore me to sanity”.
See, drinking was only a part of my insanity. A big part, sure, the one that was easy to point to; but when the poison dried up, the craziness sprouted and grew like Jack’s beanstalk. I’d forgotten that I didn’t know how to live life; one that involved adult conversations, daily commutes, and shoe-tying.

Removing the alcohol made it possible for me to focus on the bigger issue: my thoughts. Abstinence only made it abundantly clear how much work needed to be done if I ever planned on smiling again for the right reasons.
It was then to follow that if I did this work, and gradually shoveled away my bat shit, the cravings would lessen themselves as well.

And all this time, I’d been putting the cart before the horse.

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